Positive Parenting

  By Dickson Tumuramye Across the country, schools are holding dedication and thanksgiving services for candidates preparing for their final examinations. In churches and school compounds, parents, teachers and religious leaders gather to pray for candidates in Primary Seven, Senior Four and Senior Six. These occasions are important. They allow families and schools to thank God for bringing their children this far and to seek guidance and strength for the examination season ahead. But as the prayers end, the children return to their books, and start their exams, there is a question every parent should ask: What does my child need from me now? The answer may be more than another reminder to revise. For many candidates, examinations are already a source of anxiety. They know that their results matter. They hear adults discussing grades, school choices and future careers. Some have also been told, directly or indirectly, that their performance will determine whether their parent...

  By Dickson Tumuramye Every examination season, parents entrust schools with a responsibility that goes beyond helping children pass examinations. We expect schools to equip learners with knowledge, skills, and values that will prepare them for life. Yet this trust is betrayed when teachers or school administrators deliberately facilitate examination malpractice to secure impressive results. In Uganda, where examination results can influence a child's next educational opportunity, the temptation to secure high grades can be considerable. We have seen UNEB withholding results for some schools because of examination malpractice. However, when schools choose dishonesty, children often become the biggest losers. When Good Grades Hide a Problem A school may celebrate excellent results, attract new admissions, and earn praise from parents. But what happens when those results do not reflect what the learners actually know? A child who advances without mastering essential skills m...

By Dickson Tumuramye Parents spend a lot of time telling children what to do. “Respect elders.” “Tell the truth.” “Control your temper.” “Work hard.” “Treat people well.” “Keep your word." "Don't abuse your teachers.” Yet there is something children are watching that may be more powerful than everything we tell them: us. Your child is watching how you speak to their teachers, respond to your spouse, how you treat people who serve you, how you respond when you are angry, how you handle money, how you react when you make a mistake, and how you behave when nobody is apparently watching. The uncomfortable question for every parent is, "What are our children learning from us without us ever sitting them down to teach it? Children copy what they see and then act on it today or tomorrow. A child may hear you say that shouting is wrong, yet watch you insult your spouse whenever you disagree, and listen when you are talking badly about a teacher or a neighbour. They may...

  By Dickson Tumuramye Many African parents were raised to believe that a parent must always be right. Apologising to a child can therefore feel like surrendering authority. Some fathers, in particular, fear that saying “I am sorry” will make their children disrespect them or weaken their headship. But what if the opposite is true? A parent who cannot admit being wrong may command obedience but may struggle to earn genuine respect. Children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who model humility, accountability, and healthy relationships. Authority does not require perfection Being a parent means having authority, but authority does not mean never making mistakes. Parents lose their temper, make unfair judgments, misunderstand situations, break promises, and sometimes discipline children without hearing the whole story. The dangerous response is to defend the mistake simply because we are the parents. When a father tells his child, “I was wrong to shout at you. I should h...

  By Dickson Tumuramye The school fees may be paid, the suitcase may be ready, and the uniform may be neatly packed. But before you send your child back to school, ask yourself one important question: Is my child really ready to go back? For parents, these final days can easily become a checklist of uniforms, books, shoes, toiletries, transport and fees. Those things matter. But there is another form of preparation that may matter even more , and that is preparing the child emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally for the term ahead. Third Term deserves particular attention because it is the promotional term and has final exams for candidate classes . For many learners, it is the final opportunity in the academic year to consolidate what they have learnt, improve weaknesses and demonstrate that they are ready for the next level. So, before the child leaves home, have a meaningful conversation. “How are you feeling about going back?” Do not assume that your child is excit...

  By Dickson Tumuramye Many parents want their children to have a better life than they had during their early years. They provide good schools, comfortable homes, reliable transport, meals, clothing, and protection from hardship. These are meaningful expressions of care. But provision can quietly become overprotection. A parent may begin answering every call, explaining every mistake, replacing every lost item, and negotiating away every consequence. Before long, the child is surrounded by support but has little experience managing life independently. That is where good parenting can become counterproductive. Comfort is not the same as preparation Children do not become capable simply because they are loved, educated or well provided for. They become capable through practice. They need opportunities to organise their belongings, complete tasks, manage time, handle money, solve ordinary problems and recover from mistakes. If adults constantly step in, children may grow accu...