What If This Year Is Not About Doing More, But Becoming Better?
By Dickson Tumuramye
Every beginning of a year comes
with noise. Planners sell out, club or association memberships surge, and
timelines overflow with bold declarations of what people intend to achieve. Everyone
seems to be in a hurry to announce what they will accomplish by the end of 2026.
New businesses will be launched, new qualifications pursued, new income targets
set, savings and investment culture started, and new adjustments made. Ambition is
not the problem. Growth is necessary. Progress matters.
Yet beneath the noise lies a
quieter, more demanding question that few pause to ask: Who am I becoming as I pursue
all these things?
The Culture of Doing Without
Becoming
We live in a society that
celebrates output more than character, speed more than depth, and visibility
more than substance. We applaud people who do more, achieve more, and acquire
more, even when they are exhausted, emotionally disconnected, spiritually
depleted, or quietly breaking inside. Many are busy building impressive lives
while neglecting the inner strength required to sustain them.
The Weight We Carry into a New Year
For many, the past year was heavy.
Marriages were strained, parenting became more demanding, workplaces
intensified pressure, the pace of life left little room to breathe, and
emotional fatigue quietly settled in. Yet we have crossed into a new year carrying
unresolved grief, disappointment, resentment, and fatigue, pretending that a
change in calendar automatically produces inner renewal. It does not. Without
reflection, we simply carry old burdens into new seasons.
Why Self-Honesty Must Come First
Becoming better begins with
honesty. It requires acknowledging uncomfortable truths — that we may be
productive but not present, successful but not fulfilled, spiritually active
but not spiritually healthy. Growth that avoids self-examination eventually collapses
under its own weight.
Emotional Maturity as the Missing
Link
At the heart of becoming better is
emotional maturity. This is not getting angry, tired, or discouraged. It
is about knowing what to do with those emotions without letting them destroy
relationships or decisions, thus managing them responsibly. A better year is one
in which adults pause before reacting, listen before defending themselves, and
choose reflection over impulsive judgment.
Why Our Homes Need Better, Not More
Many homes are not suffering from a lack of money but a lack of emotional availability. Parents are physically
present in body but absent in heart. Couples share space but not meaningful
conversation. Children are monitored but not understood. If this year is to be
truly better, emotional presence at home must matter as much as external
achievement.
Relationships Improve by Design,
Not Accident
Becoming better also demands
relational intentionality. Healthy relationships do not improve simply because
time has passed; they improve because effort has been invested. Many conflicts
will not be resolved by changing jobs, relocating, or cutting people off, but
by learning how to communicate honestly, forgive intentionally, and establish
healthy boundaries.
Spiritual Depth Beyond Religious
Activity
There is also a spiritual dimension
to becoming better that goes beyond routine religious participation. It is
possible to remain busy with God while drifting far from Him. The new year
invites a slower, deeper faith — one that shapes decisions, attitudes, and how
we treat people when no one is watching.
Rest as Wisdom, Not Weakness
In a society obsessed with
achievement, rest is often mistaken for laziness. Yet one of the most powerful
acts of becoming better is learning to rest without guilt. Rest is not a
weakness; it is wisdom and stewardship. A rested mind thinks clearly, a rested
heart loves generously, and a rested soul discerns rightly. Burnout does not
increase productivity; it only shortens endurance.
Redefining Success Before It
Redefines You
True success is not measured only
by how far one goes, but by how whole one remains along the journey.
Achievements that cost marriages, education, health, integrity, or inner peace
are far too expensive. Becoming better requires redefining success before the
world defines it for us. This is what you need to instil in your children: to
achieve what defines who they are at no cost to their behaviour or life.
When Plans Change but Character
Holds
This year will not unfold exactly
as planned. Some goals will take longer; others may fail altogether. In those
moments, becoming better will matter more than doing more — better patience,
better discernment, better resilience, and better kindness. Your family needs a
better person than an exhausted one. Walk together and achieve together.
The World Needs a Better You, not a
Busier One
As the year unfolds, challenges
will come. Plans will be disrupted. Some goals will take longer than expected. This
year does not need a more exhausted version of you. It needs a wiser, calmer,
and more grounded one. Your family does not need more of your activity; it
needs more of your attention. Your workplace not only needs your
competence; it needs your integrity.
A Resolution That Outlives January
Perhaps the most powerful
resolution is not about adding more tasks, but about becoming a better person.
Becoming better is quieter than doing more, but its impact lasts longer. Long
after the enthusiasm of resolutions fades and plans change, character remains.
As this year begins, may we have
the courage to grow from the inside out. As we prepare to send our children
back to school, we need to be reflective on how to end the year well while
emotionally strong – every step counts.
Happy and prosperous 2026
The writer is the executive
director of Hope Regeneration Africa, a parenting coach, marriage counselor, and
founder of the Men of Purpose Mentorship Program.
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