A letter to Eunice, the little girl I mentored

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Dear Eunice,

On September 10, 2016, you will change status. You will make the dream ‘I do’ solemn vow, the fantasy of every girl. Like the fairy tales, you probably can’t wait to live happily thereafter. Congratulations on your soon to be achieved status.

You will remember about 8 years ago when I worked in child ministry, it is the same time I fell in love. I had a team of seven high school students that I mentored, and you were one of them. Undoubtedly, God answered my prayers for the seven, they have since graduated from university and are living mature, fulfilled Christian lives. Am I not a proud mentor? I lived a very open life before the young lads that I mentored. Memories of this particular day stand out like it was yesterday. I had just fallen in love. My life seemed to be on a roller coaster. This young man seemed to have swept me off my feet. This particular day we were seated on our dining table as the norm was every lunch time. My workmates teased me that I had changed, and they guessed right, someone was disorganizing my life in a good way. I pulled out my wallet size picture and yes, I broke the news that I was in love. I vividly recall how you, Isaac and Geans looked at me in amazement with childish smiles. I cautioned you to fall in love at the right time. I am so glad, you chose to wait!

You most likely have heard people tell you countless theories on marriage. Do not be deceived, there are no experts in marriage. A formula that worked for one may fail to apply in another’s case. One thing I know for sure, marriage is what you make it. Make use of the author’s toll free line any time through prayer.

Eunice my dear, you are getting married to Sam, not men. Desist from cheap talk that stereotypes men as being that and the other. At the time I got married, I heard so many nay sayers. They will tell you that such and such breed of men are not romantic, loving and so much more. I would gladly tell them that I am not getting married to a clan. Six years down the road, I am thankful that I did not perceive my marriage as a commitment to the men folk.

Your friends must be telling you how lucky you are. To have a man all to yourself for a lifetime is no mean fit. And yes, you are getting a license to intimacy at any time. This must be good news to the ears and a worthwhile reward for the many years of abstinence. Society and culture will make marriage look like it’s all about sex. Beloved, there is more to that.

Growing up, you made so many mistakes. You still do!!! That simply means that you are an imperfect girl. You told me that you are getting married to Sam, who is a human being. Do not expect this human being to pull off angelic stints. Whenever you are tempted to ask why, remember that when you had a choice for a marriage partner, you chose a human being, not an angel. You and I know that human beings are not perfect.

‘Marriage is not a bed of roses’ how true this golden adage of ages is. Choose not to focus on the thorns, tend the roses and you will have a rosy marriage. If anyone has told you that it’s gonna be a smooth sail, they told you blatant lies. This should not scare you. When you know that you are not the first, neither are you going to be the last, why should you be shaken? My own marriage has not been devoid of challenges, even when the world might wrongly perceive that mine is a marriage match made in heaven. Right from the onset, I got where to take the challenges: at the foot of Calvary. There is still more than enough space, join the wagon. There will be bitter-sweet pills to swallow like the pain of child birth. Remember that morning in April when I birthed Akampa right there in your presence? Recall my screams at the time of stitching? Yes, even those life changing moments are there!

Eunice, you have a grand opportunity to make your marriage what you want it to be, go ahead and use it. Women are the home makers. You have the power to make Sam as romantic as you want him to be, dress trendily as you have always fantasized your man to be and as responsible as he ought to be. You have the power. Keep on your knees. The wedding is just an event, the real test is the journey of marriage you embark on thereafter. Be the wife Sam will always be proud of, be the incomparable mother to the children God will bless you with and be the woman the kingdom of God will be proud of.

I love you Eunice. Welcome to the institution of marriage where we are enjoying ourselves till Jesus comes to take us home.

 

©Prim K. Tumuramye

12th August 2016

Prim is a Christian, wife, mother and Communications Specialist at Compassion International. She is passionate about reading, writing, youth mentorship and intentional parenting. 

 

 

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