I FOUND ONE

 

“Mummy, why does Daddy call you sweetheart?” my then three year old son Akampa asked me.

“I am his wife, your mother….uhmm, I am…” I stammered, trying to find how best to help a toddler comprehend such a complex subject like love.

While growing up, I did not have the luxury of asking such questions that would put my mother on the spot. She would immediately put me in my place by reminding me to ‘leave issues of old people alone.’ I later learnt that most parents (if not all) for my age mates had pretty much the same attitude. With the ever changing generational dynamics, the children being raised in this generation seem to be more aware of what they want and settle for nothing less. Here I was with this little man asking questions I would not dare ask even in my dreams when I was his age. Oh how times change! It brought to mind how older people used to lament about ‘children of these days being spoilt’ while we were growing up. The current generation has taught me the true meaning of ‘spoilt children.’ What else would explain children smoking in the open, shamelessly moving around in skimpy outfits, some have taken the issue of indispline a notch higher by feigning kidnaps to get ransoms from their ‘mean parents.’

‘I found mine too!’ Akampa exclaimed.

‘You found what?’ I asked in confusion, my mind having strayed away into memories of my childhood days.

‘I found my sweetheart. Edgar is my sweetheart.’ he responded with his trademark chubby smile.

I sighed a sigh of relief. So this is where our conversation had been leading! After all it was just but an innocent question. With the media and social pressures within which children are growing, my concerns were definitely not unfounded. Children have sadly sometimes lost their innocence at a very young age.

Who is Edgar? Edgar is a girl I met a few years ago. Then she was at college. I do not know how I ended up as the master of ceremonies at her graduation luncheon, but yes I was. Somehow, even with our age difference, we had grown to be close friends. The songs that were sung at Kuhingira(Give-away) functions in ‘our days’ bring to mind the true description of this girl. I honestly do not know whose days we are living in currently (I am not the source of the adage –our days)! I am just talking as an elder, reminiscing about our good old days in the nineties! Those days give away and wedding functions happened once in a blue moon.

It was during these rare occurrences that songs were composed and sang in praise of the couple and the marriage institution. The most common lines would go thus,

‘Enyamyonyo kwekura eribwa,

Eishi omwishi ogu aboneire,

Ayine amaisho g’enyonyozi, ebitsya by’enyawawa, ekibunu ky’ekishabo n’amaguru g’emitumba!’

Literally translated, the lyrics meant, ‘When plantain ripens, it is eaten. This girl is really beautiful. Her eyes are bright like stars, her neck graceful like a crested crane, she has round bottoms and shapely legs.’

These lyrics are a summary of what Edgar looks like. I have heard people say beauty is deceptive, on the contrary she is among the few people that I have met that are beautiful in body and soul. My son had made a good choice for a sweet heart. From then he looked forward to meeting his dear friend. This came with privileges of gifts, visits, birthday parties and all the goodies that come from someone special. I later learnt that Edgar Beloved’s heart had been given to a one Naijuka Ivan, whom I knew as a friend, colleague at work and friend to my children. Akampa had never known that a man he loved and held in such high esteem had stolen Edgar’s heart. They related as great friends with generations of age difference.

On May 26, 2018, Ivan declared to the world that he had officially found one that would call him sweetheart, in the real sense of the word. It was a joy seeing this unfold. For a beautiful heart for a rare gem like Edgar’s changing ownership from the little boy’s hands to the custody of a fine young man like Ivan brought me joy indescribable.

The next day as we cut the cake that was given to our family as a gift from the couple (what an honor!), I told Akampa that someone more befitting had found Edgar.

‘So Edgar will now be Ivan’s sweetheart?’ Akampa asked in a low tone.

‘You are right,’ I responded ‘When you grow up, you will one day find one too.’ I smilingly reassured him.

Congratulations Ivan upon landing yourself the true definition of wife material and finding what my son had found.

The Tumuramye crew wish you a blissful marriage!

©Prim K. Tumuramye

29^th May 2018

Prim is a Christian, wife, mother and Communications Specialist at Compassion International. She is passionate about reading, writing, youth mentorship and intentional parenting.