NIINYE; The Definition of a True Friend

Prim K. Tumuramye

2006 was a major turning point in my life. I finished school and a few months later got myself a job, before graduating.  These two achievements meant a lot to me. The school system that was majorly exam-focused, importance attached to how much one could remember other than what they understood was all pressure I couldn’t wait to lay down. Getting a job, even today, more than a decade later remains an uphill task in Uganda. I am so indebted to North Kigezi Diocese for giving me that first opportunity to have a job. My career journey was shaped then.

It is the day that I reported for work that I met Niinye. Niinye in my mother tongue means I am.

‘Niinye Sheila. You are welcome. You must be Prim, the new staff we have been expecting’ a young lady, probably my age, chocolate skin complexion extended her hand towards me with a beaming smile.

Sheila Niinye Twinamatsiko

‘Yes, I am Prim. Thank you so much.’ I half murmured in response.

I just had a small travel suitcase, with a few clothes, personal effects and a pair of bedsheets. With that, I felt well-armed to start an independent life, away from the prying eyes of my mother.

‘Where is your other luggage?’ Niinye inquired.

‘This is all I have got.’ I fumbled.

It is then that it dawned on me that my mother had probably been right. I was young and naïve. I had left home, to a foreign land like the Biblical Abram and all I had was a little suitcase, going to report at a new workstation but not certain of whose hands I was going into, at least for the start.

I told Sheila that I had money with me to buy the other start up needs for a spinster’s home. My mother had given me this money after a lengthy lecture on how I perceive life as a governor’s daughter, yet she was far from that status. I had left all my student life property in the hostel, many miles away in Mukono. Here I was, asking for money to buy more or less similar items to start a new life, after collage. My pleas that I would figure out how to get my things from the hostel after graduation did not make economic sense to my mother.  For that she was right, I have never looked at life in poverty’s lens, I am rich, according to my yardstick! My classmate, Olivia, in high school fondly called me Bourgeois’ while we were in A ’Level.

Niinye, who had reported a month earlier and was already renting a house took me in. I shared her bed (I never bought one till I left her house). Our friendship started then. We talked about everything and even football. She introduced me to Manchester United. My support for football died a few years later after marrying an Arsenal fan. For the sake of peace, I had to remain neutral in the football affairs. We laughed about life, dreamt about more than just a good future, prayed and preached God’s word together.

One year later, I was transferred to a different workstation (we had both been promoted at work). Our friendship only grew stronger. We talked for many hours on phone, shared our worries and encouraged each other. In Niinye, I found the other child my mother had not had the opportunity to carry in her womb. I told her everything concerning my life, fears (I had many), aspirations and escapades.

One incident that remains glued to my mind to date is the crush a banker had on me. My job gave me opportunity to handle big monies, so yes, I rubbed shoulders with the ‘deep waters’ of my area of jurisdiction. With time, I was subtly beginning to fall for the crush. He was corporate, nice looking, cheeky and young.

Niinye looked me in the eye ‘Gal, (in the typical Bweranyangi Girls’ accent), let’s do soul searching; is this love or flirting?’

She took me through our earlier agreed upon non-negotiables for any candidate aspiring to be our spouse, and the banker lacked one pivotal component. She gave me a stern warning not to awaken love before it is due. This and many other uncountable times, Niinye held me accountable for my actions/inactions, promises and aspirations. She is my agemate, but more logical and rational. Well, I am work in progress regarding sweating small stuff.  When my time for marriage came, Niinye was my lady of honor. All my friends told me they would have been shocked if any other person stood in this role. I look back to the journey we have so far covered, how each of our dreams is coming true and I get amazed at the priceless value of the right people in our lives.

Last year was a particularly bad year for my mother whose health had deteriorated so much. She became grumpy and depressed. It was difficult nursing her; she was tired of the medicine, pain and the countless hospital visits. In November, she was to undergo surgery. The thought of nursing her was both scary and emotionally draining. Her diabetic body never wants a wound, no matter how small.

Niinye offered to nurse mother for us. For over a month, mother was at her home after the surgery, that thankfully went well.  Niinye and her husband, Medard, took care of mum, told her stories, pampered her to the point that she literally forgot that she was sick. I then knew why Niinye had insisted on the importance of a good husband.

This month, Niinye and Medard made ten years in marriage. I can only cheer you on beloved.

As you venture into the journey leading to your second decade in marriage, my prayer is that the Lord will protect and prosper you.

My prayer is that I and Dickson Tumuramye, will be the Niinye (I am) of the friends in our lives.

Niinye Sheila is the true definition of what a friend is/should be.

©Prim K. Tumuramye

Prim is a Christian, wife, mother and Communications Specialist at Compassion International. She is passionate about reading, writing, youth mentorship and intentional parenting.