WHEN WE GROW UP

 By Prim K. Tumuramye

12th 2018

Dear Daddy and Mummy

We are sorry. When we go in upper classes, we shall stop our bad manners.

From Dickson

The Tumuramye family

Byyye

My Primary Two son aged seven years then, slipped a little note in my hands after bidding me good night. On the note was scribbled the above text.

‘That message is for you and daddy.’ he whispered.

Upon entering the bedroom, I read the little note and my heart melted with joy and guilt, both in equal measure. That night, hubby was returning home from upcountry, where he had spent a few days at a family function.

Earlier that day, our son Akampa had burnt his young brother’s buttocks with a hot iron box. The anger and panic I felt that day are indescribable. That Sunday morning, we had started the day with hyperactivity to be in time for church service. As my son bent to apply Vaseline on his body, my overly super active son placed on him a hot iron box, just to test if it really burns!

The loud yell he let out signaled danger. In haste, I run to offer him first aid, but I also did not want my anger to subside before I teach the young man what it actually means when one is advised not to try certain things at home. A verbal warning wouldn’t be enough this time round, after all he was not a first-time offender in the family court records. A year before this incident he had cut our new curtains to test if a pair of scissors truly cuts! We had given him a stern warning then and expected him to remember that lesson. I had particularly been moved to forgive him because I remembered how at his age I had also been perplexed by the whole concept of the structure and operations of a pair of scissors. I had cut so many of my mother’s papers, trying to make different shapes. I easily understood that probably that could have been a generically inherited misgiving passed on from the mother to son. He went without punishment for that offence.

This new crime was not one to be ignored. I had to employ serious spanking followed by serious caution. Seeing his little brother in pain, the frantic calls I was making for tips on managing the damage made the little man scared out of his skin. Apparently, the burn turned out to be a mild one and the victim recovered sooner than I had anticipated.

When I punish offenders in my household, I don’t hold on to the grudge – I move on. After the crime, judgment and punishment process, which were all expeditiously done, life returned to normal in the Tumuramye household.

The act of the little man, bearing his heavy punishment with grace, and going an extra mile to write an apology (albeit in plural inferring that all the Tumuramye offspring were at fault) was a gesture that left me in tears. It was clear that he was very remorseful concerning his adventurous misdeed. The promise of behavioral change when they join upper classes ignited a longing for the future I so much desired.

This year, Akampa was promoted to Primary Three and now uses a pen to write at school. His promotion meant that he dropped some of the childish school subjects like drawing and shading. In my judgement, (I could be wrong) I presume that Primary Three is the gate way to upper classes. In our days, joining Primary Three which was synonymous with graduating from using a pencil and starting afternoon classes was a great mark.

Today Akampa makes eight years. It’s been a journey watching him grow, being part of his crazy idea world and dreaming with him about his well laid out future plans. Today marks the beginning of the promise made regarding implementing the good manners program. I look forward to a bright future on this new journey.

Dickson Tumuramye; behold its eight years since that excruciating transnight labor pain experience and the joy of the first cry that followed. Let’s journey on, the promised better days seem to be at hand!

 

©Prim K. Tumuramye

Prim is a Christian, wife, mother and Communications Specialist at Compassion International. She is passionate about reading, writing, youth mentorship and intentional parenting.