Nurturing Children with a Dark Past

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By Dickson Tumuramye

The Ministry of Education released both Primary Leaving Examinations (PLE) and Universal Certificate of Education (UCE) results recently. We had stories of children who did not perform well and decided to cause harm to themselves. While others were celebrated by their parents, I am sure some were being condemned for their poor performance and possibly reminded about their past performance and actions or were judged in all possible manner. Some of these children may have been best performers at school but the unexpected befell them.

The experience of failure can be torturous for children, especially when it is compounded by past mistakes and judgments. As children navigate the complexities of growing up, they may find themselves entangled in wayward behavior and regrettable choices. It is a painful truth that some may ignore the advice of parents, teachers, and elders, leading to undesirable outcomes.

In such situations, parents must support their children in moving forward and embracing the possibility of a brighter future. Continuously dwelling on past mistakes only serves to reinforce the belief that nothing good can come from those experiences. Instead, parents should impart the invaluable lesson that every choice has consequences, whether positive or negative, and that these consequences shape our future.

Parents can guide their children by emphasizing the importance of making future-focused decisions and understanding that their current actions contribute to their long-term journey. Encouraging a forward-thinking mindset can instill resilience and determination in children, empowering them to overcome setbacks and strive for their dreams.

Moreover, when children make regrettable choices, parents need to provide support and guidance towards positive change. While it is crucial to address wrongdoing and prevent risky behavior, constantly reminding children of their past mistakes only hinders their growth and progress. Instead, parents should focus on rebuilding their children's confidence and nurturing their potential, regardless of their past missteps.

Parents need to be the number one encourager for their children, consistently inspiring them to dream big and persevere through challenges. Even when words of wisdom seem to fall on deaf ears, the power of love and encouragement can eventually resonate with children, guiding them towards a path of self-realization and growth.

Nurturing children with a dark past requires patience, understanding, and unwavering support from parents. By fostering a positive and future-oriented outlook, parents can help their children overcome past mistakes, embrace their potential, and strive towards a fulfilling and successful future. Let us be the guiding light that leads our children towards a brighter tomorrow, filled with hope, resilience, and endless possibilities.

Never give up on your counsel. Out of many words, you speak. One time such words will ring loudly in this child and the inevitable turn back will happen like how it was with the prodigal son in the bible (Luke 15:11-32) who came to his senses after spoiling himself and decided to go back to his father with a lot of remorse. 

The writer is the Executive Director of Hope Regeneration Africa, parenting coach, marriage counselor and founder – Men of Purpose Mentorship Programme

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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:

#Positive parenting

#Marriage and family

#Child counseling

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