Pay Attention to Your Child’s Possession

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By Dickson Tumuramye

In the realm of parenting, one of the crucial aspects often overlooked is the scrutiny of what possessions our children acquire. Whether it's the clothes they wear, the gadgets they flaunt, or even the miscellaneous items they bring home, these belongings can speak volumes about their choices, influences, and even potential missteps.

The Power of Choice and Influence

As parents, we frequently buy items or entrust our children with money to purchase items they desire, be it trendy clothes for a function or the latest gadgets. However, this liberty of choice can sometimes lead to purchases that do not align with our family’s values or expectations. For instance, finding torn and distressed jeans branded “damage” instead of appropriate attire may leave us questioning our child’s judgment. This disconnect highlights the importance of imparting and reinforcing family values regarding responsible consumption and the appropriateness of choices.

Signs Beyond the Surface

Some children in our homes have expensive gadgets like a smartphone, a flat TV screen bigger than what you have at home and you don’t bother to know how they acquired such gadgets. They could have other items like expensive clothes, perfumes, shoes, etc yet they don’t work and you didn’t give them that money. Expensive items appearing without plausible explanations regarding their acquisition should raise concerns. It prompts the need to investigate the source of funds or the circumstances under which these items were obtained.

Another common habit among young ones is that after school, they come back home with any kind of item. You can’t find out who the owner is, where and how the child got it. All these could be indicators of theft, misuse of money, they are engaging in relationships, they are into deals you don’t know about among others. Such vigilance is not just about monitoring spending habits but also about safeguarding against potential involvement in bad activities.

Role of Proactive Parenting

Being proactive entails more than just observing from a distance. It involves actively engaging in our children’s lives, including their educational environments. Whether visiting their dormitories or halls, hostels and rented rooms, or maintaining open lines of communication, these actions foster transparency and trust. As a parent, don’t keep a blind eye and think that since someone is old enough, they are at campus or after campus even when you are the one paying rent and upkeep, etc, that all is normal. By establishing a supportive environment where conversations about ownership, responsibility, and ethical behavior are encouraged, we empower our children to make informed decisions.

Cultivating Responsible Habits

This holiday season, let us take the time to check what your child brought home that you may not be aware of. If they mention it is for a friend or classmate, you might need to ask more questions to gather additional details and, if possible, reach out to that person to uncover the truth. Ultimately, the habits our children develop concerning ownership and respect for property start early and evolve gradually. By instilling values that discourage unauthorized borrowing, encourage financial prudence, and promote ethical conduct, we equip them with crucial life skills beyond material possessions. It’s not just about the items themselves but the lessons they impart about our children’s journey into adulthood.

Navigating Difficult Conversations

At home, sometimes feel free to check in their rooms, wardrobes, suitcases, etc., and strive to be a responsible parent who understands more about your children and have talks. If another parent contacts you regarding an item your child received from their child, it necessitates conducting thorough investigations before jumping to conclusions or defending our child prematurely. However, if someone calls you, filled with anger and making numerous allegations about your child, you may need to inform that parent that you are aware of your child’s behavior but kindly ask for some time to carry out your own inquiries.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the possessions our children acquire often mirror their values, influences, and sometimes, unintended behaviors. Therefore, we not only protect our children from potential pitfalls but also empower them to navigate life’s complexities with integrity and accountability.

The writer is the executive director of Hope Regeneration Africa, Parenting coach, marriage counselor and founder of the Men of Purpose Mentorship program

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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:

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