Managing your Child's Academic Pressure
By Dickson Tumuramye
Last week, I sat
down with my son, a Primary Seven candidate, to talk about how his first term
had been. We usually talk about many things, but this time, the conversation
zeroed in on one major concern: academic pressure at school.
I asked David what he thought were the causes of this pressure and how he was personally coping. He
thoughtfully responded, and we cited several factors. Schools are under immense pressure to perform. Competition from neighbouring schools, expectations from directors and parents, and the fear of losing learners to better-performing institutions all contribute to a culture of relentless academic drilling. Many schools believe that outstanding academic results attract more students and, consequently, increase the school’s profitability.
The pressure trickles down to the learners. In some schools, many wake up at 4:00 a.m. to prepare for morning preps between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m. Formal classes begin between 7:15 and 8:00 a.m. and continue until 4:00 p.m., followed by evening lessons from 5:00 to 6:00 p.m., and night preps start at 6:45 p.m. and to 9:00 or even 10:00 p.m. During lunch breaks, instead of resting, learners do “lunch hour” assignments. Add homework and other assignments to this, and you find children robbed of rest, recreation, and meaningful reflection.
David shared how he manages this overwhelming schedule. He plans his time and follows a personal timetable that balances school expectations with personal goals. He has set academic targets for PLE and is working smartly toward the secondary school he hopes to join. These aspirations keep him focused.
More importantly, he has grounded his approach in spiritual discipline. “I pray and put God first. That gives me peace and helps me not to be anxious,” he said. He also surrounds himself with positive friends, learns from those who perform better, and keeps himself accountable. His coping mechanisms are admirable, but they also raise questions about how much pressure children are silently enduring.
It got me thinking about how many parents intentionally sit down with their children to ask how they are coping with school pressure. How many truly know the type of support their children need, emotionally, academically, socially, or spiritually? When was the last time you gave your child an undistracted hour of your full attention, just to listen to the experience termly?
Being a parent isn’t only about providing school fees, books, and uniforms. It’s also about understanding the invisible burdens children carry. Some are overwhelmed by academic demands. Others are struggling with peer pressure, poor choices, substance abuse, or mental fatigue. Your awareness of these challenges can help you devise tailored solutions that go beyond the surface.
Here are a few things parents can do
Regular interactions with class teachers
Talk to your child’s class teacher and work out
a plan to address learning challenges, anxiety, or behavioral concerns. Sadly,
many parents don't even know who teaches their children. Ensure you use career
days, usually organized by schools. You can also make phone calls to find out
about your child’s welfare.
School Visits
Offer regular visits or check-ins if your child
is in a boarding school. Your presence offers moral and psychological
reassurance that can make a world of difference. Also, maximize school
visitation days or any other time as long as the school allows you to access a
child beyond visiting days.
Plan together for
relaxation moments
Collaborate on
relaxation plans during holidays or school time. Instead of prescribing what
your child should do to unwind, ask them what they feel would help them
recharge both at home and at school. Their answers might surprise you and offer
clues to deeper needs.
Life choices matter a lot
Guide them in making wise and informed choices.
Help your children identify activities, relationships, and habits that derail
their academic focus, such as unhealthy romantic entanglements, substance
abuse, or misused digital devices. Together, make a plan on how to avoid
incidents of addiction, distractions, and cyberbullying, among others. Let the
child know that every choice has short and long-term consequences that can
affect their life success.
Continuous support
As some
university students prepare for their new academic year in some private
universities, and others finalize their exams, especially in public
universities, let’s remember that academic pressure doesn’t end in primary or
secondary school. It evolves with age, and so must our support.
Schools have a role to play
I know schools
wish our children well, and their success is equally our success. However, this
too much pressure exerted on children the whole day does not produce wise
children at all. Now wonder these days, we are talking of planned kids and Jaydens,
and sometimes we think it is because of parents, but also contribute because
our children are raised in one area of success in life, not recognizing that
life is holistic. Reduce on pressure and you will achieve your performance.
As I conclude, let us remind our children that pressure is real but manageable with proper planning, the right environment, and a strong support system. Equip them to avoid distractions, stay focused, and make wise choices, both inside and outside the classroom. As parents, let’s not tire of listening. You never know when your attention could save your child from making a costly mistake. The academic journey is not just about results; it’s about raising whole, healthy, and purpose-driven individuals.
Wishing all our children a productive and fulfilling second term.
The writer is the executive director of Hope Regenerating Africa, a parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder of the Men of Purpose mentorship program.
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