Don’t dictate your child’s career path!

By Dickson Tumuramye,

After the release of PLE and UCE examinations by the Uganda National Examination Board, one would think the anxiety and stress are over. The struggle continues until the child is admitted for either S.1 or S.4. This happens even when the child is going to higher institutions of learning especially at the university. I know there are some schools where S.1 students have already reported and others are still waiting to begin soon.

Last week, my friend moved around some good traditional schools seeking S.1 vacancy for his child. The child didn't perform to their expectations but he managed to get the first grade. The parent was at one of the schools (which I won’t mention) by 9am ready to see the headteacher. There was already a good queue for a similar reason. By 10pm, my friend with other parents had not yet seen the headteachers. At some point, the headteacher hid from the parents. I think he had no more words to tell them. Remember, some parents come with chits from above. Others come following a phone call. Others just come to try their luck. Nonetheless, after all that time of waiting, the parent was unsuccessful and depressed.

Now the S.1s and S.4s admissions and reporting may not only be the problem. The challenge comes when a child is not involved in the process of school selection and subjects to study. This is in case a child was not admitted to what they filled in their JAB forms. There are also parents who dictate which combination a child should take at A-Level or the course at the university. You are not the person who is going to study that combination/subjects/course. The child could have passed well the subjects you want him/her to take, but the passion and love may not be there. This is where you need to listen and agree on the subjects in the interest of the child. As parents, let us also know that our children are old at that level to determine where they would like to be in the future.

What is more important is your career guidance than dictatorship. You could be knowing so much than this child. But the child also knows something about his/her future. Your guidance is better to open this child’s mind to a broader picture and inspire him/her to work harder to achieve what you have shared. Explore the possible outcomes and consequences for their decisions. The child will appreciate your advice than someone who likes to impose yourself on him/her. Their participation in decision making creates a ground for being well focused and it earns you their respect. They get closer and connected to you and will always come to you when faced with challenges. It also challenges their decision-making ability and promotes their confidence in matters that concern them and their family.

You are able also to identify with them concerning their future goals, and career ambitions. Every time children participate in decision-making, it prepares them for adulthood and maturity. They are emulating from you how things are supposed to be done when they also grow old and have responsibilities like you. Allow children to voice out their issues and give them attention as though you were listening to your boss/supervisor/parent. Guide them to demonstrate maturity and capacity to make their own age-appropriate decisions, judgment which may deliver you from the stress of thinking for them all the time.

The writer is a child advocate and a parenting coach, UCU

tumudickson@gmail.com