Positive Parenting

By Dickson Tumuramye There has been a video clip of a 12-year-old child who destroyed his mother’s property at home because the mother confiscated his phone. Whatever the child's age, the impulsive behavior in the video clip is outrageous and calls for attention.  No one has a clear reason as to why this child acted like that. But what is known is that parenting in the 21 st century is very challenging. The children in this digital era are totally different from the children in the 20 th century. Even parenting itself is no longer the same. I grew up knowing that I couldn’t just ask questions anyhow or challenge my parents. There were a lot of dos and don'ts, which may no longer apply today. A child can challenge a parent without fear or shame these days, and it sounds normal. There is a lot of exposure in the media and to what parents do with their children. Children are more knowledgeable about many things compared to a decade ago. Bad behaviour in a child stems from emotio...

By Dickson Tumuramye A friend was concerned that her child was involved in a courtship with a gentleman she was not comfortable with, and she did not know how to share this with her daughter. As we discussed, I asked her how often she sat with her daughter and other children to talk about relationship issues. I also probed to know if she was a good friend to her daughter or if the daughter ever shared with her anything to do with her relationships with boyfriends at any level. I got to know that this lady always used an iron hand in mentoring her daughters when it came to relationship matters. Therefore, the daughters hardly share with her anything to do with their private lives. It is not bad to be tough as a parent, but it may not yield the very positive results you desire in the long run. This is one mistake that parents make. They create a wall between them and their children and make their boundaries clear – you are a child, and I am a parent, period! The child has no friend in th...

Dickson Tumuramye We all have children that can grow into hyper-characters or attitudes. They think they should be above everything and everyone at whatever cost. Such a mindset exists even in adults. They don’t regard others as worthy of their value. It becomes worse when such people are well off in one way or the other. They like to elevate themselves to a standard that is above and outrageous. Most of them have less to care about others. If they happen to get through with what they need, others don’t matter. Eventually, pride and arrogance are the products of such behavior. We can teach our children to be genuinely humble. It is one of the character traits that one needs every time, everywhere. One scholar wrote that humility means being willing to learn. To be humble is to be curious about others. Humble people listen because they know they don't know everything. To be humble is to always remember that God is bigger, smarter, and more powerful. Humility can be teachable to our ...

  By Dickson Tumuramye Emotional abuse is a common practice that almost everyone goes through in life. But some people may not know how they emotionally abuse others. We have parents who are harsh, toxic, strict and use humiliating or criticizing words. They yell and constantly shout at children or spouses all the time. Somehow this creates fear amongst children and the rest. Other parents are not necessarily tough but they never care about their families. This too creates emotional abuse. Children who are raised in fear of their abusive parents can never be very free with them. Children can never confide in them if they had any pressing issue. They hardly appreciate a parent’s character. They may not even share their feelings with their daddy/mummy so that s/he can change. We still have parents who are well educated, professional, and well exposed but still cause emotional abuse to their children. We need to understand that emotional abuse can occur in any family at any time...