Use words of affirmation with your children
By Dickson Tumuramye
Words of affirmation are one of the five types
of love language by Gary Chapman. But this is not where I am heading. I am just
telling us that, yes, good affirmative and encouraging words bless each of us
in different ways. They may come as an expression of appreciation, praise,
encouragement, counsel, confirmation, and comfort, among others. You may
receive such words depending on the situation at hand. Any time a nice word
falls into your ears, there is a good heartbeat, and you feel happy and
excited.
God did not hide how he was well pleased with
His son, Jesus Christ, "You are My beloved Son, in You, I am well-pleased and
delighted!" (Mark 1:11, Matthew 12:8, 17:5, Isaiah 42:1). Therefore, it is
not wrong to speak very well and proudly about your child in private and public
as long as there is value in your statement. The key word is
"affirmation," not mere "words."
I know it is very hard for an African parent to
publicly declare such words. Others are misinterpreted as being proud when they
say nice things about their children. But if God did it for his son, how about
you? Therefore, it is good to use words like "I love you", "you
make me proud, I am proud of you", "you are very wise",
"you will make it", "you are beautiful, handsome,",
"you inspire me", "you are lovely", whatever words you
would like your child to feel appreciated. Such words should be genuine and
from the bottom of your heart.
They should not be used anyhow and only selectively
on children. All children are equal but unique. They deserve similar treatment.
Even when you are not comfortable with certain things they do, positive words
of affirmation can still transform them into the best people you desire to see.
You should never travel with your child or family and fail to introduce them
when an opportunity avails itself. It builds their confidence but also
challenges them to be accountable and to live up to what is said about them.
It also put you on a task to ensure that your
child(ren) maintains the status you hold about them. It keeps both of you on
checks and balances. They can nurture emotional intimacy. A child feels a sense
of dignity, which reduces negative thoughts and self-doubt, triggers positive
feelings, and assures your child how much you love and care about him/her. They
encourage hard and smart work. They help someone evaluate their self-worth and
areas for improvement. Words can be touching and can reach very far.
It is the best way to express appreciation for good
deeds and address any negative behavior or what you don’t like in your child.
It is thus time to express words of affirmation without fear or favor. Don’t
feel embarrassed or afraid to express yourself. Where it feels hard to express
them loudly, feel free to write them down. Never miss showing your gratitude to
your loved one.
I would like to remind you that your mouth is
full of life and death. Your words can either build others up or tear them down
(Proverbs 18:21). Never focus on using negative words that completely shutter
the entire self-esteem of your child. Avoid using harsh words with your
children. They don’t add any value to him/her. There is no need for negative
comments or abusive words. Delight in only constructive words. Out of the abundance
of the heart, the mouth speaketh (Matthew 12:34). What you utter determines
what you feed your soul and thoughts.
You are the fountain of happiness of yourself
and your family, with what you build in them.
The writer is a child advocate,
parenting coach, marriage counselor and founder Men of Purpose mentorship
program
#facebook/Dickson Tumuramye
#twitter @Tumudick
#email: tumudickson@gmail.com
#tel: 0772851863/0702851863
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Dickson Tumuramye is also a motivational speaker on:
#Positive parenting
#Marriage and family
#Child counseling
#Career guidance
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