Four Decades of Life: A story of Dreams, Resilience and Hope

Author: Prim K. Tumuramye

Forty years sounded like a century back then. This year (Feb 5, 2024), I made four decades on earth and how grateful I feel. I am filled with gratitude for the journey so far trodden, through the different seasons of my life. Looking back, I can only be grateful. Born to and singlehandedly raised by a single mother, amidst great limitation yet unimaginable contentment, many a times the future looked bleak. Poverty, nowadays politely referred to as humble background robs one of choice. That is what defined my childhood. Yet, my mother dared to dream, against all odds. When ends refused to meet, mother put the chalk down, left a would be decent primary school teaching career, hitting the trenches as an amateur petty trader. Her life took another twist – mockery, lack and the hustles of searching for daily bread. And that is the life I would grow up into. 

Mother seemed never undeterred by the prevailing circumstances. She had a strange confidence that everything would be alright. She always said that it was just a matter of time, and things would be alright. In silent disbelief, I prayed that one day she would wake up from her dream. Time looked like a forever concept. Time seemed to have stagnated. It looked like time had conspired with poverty to never be in hurry lest the duo lessens my burden of peering into an uncertain future.

‘Shana obaga muhara wa Governor, ninga orya’shwerwa Governor.’ Literally translated,

‘Maybe you are a Governor’s daughter, or you will marry  one.’ quite often my mother reprimanded me as I lazily pulled over the blanket for another dose of sleep every morning.

I have never been an early riser or late owl. I love doing life during the day, literally. I think God had a purpose for separating day and night, as told in the creation story. See, I got biblical consolation for my not so popular choice. Unfortunately, early bird and night owl combined is what defined my mother. She sadly gave birth to me – the total opposite. Well, again, that’s life!

Growing up, I was a loner, understandably so because I was an only child. Mother was overly protective, lest I would have left the ghetto a deeply wounded adolescent. A good nap or read became my consolation. It had to either be a book or bed. That explains my quiet demeanor, and true introverted spirit. Over the years, I have learnt to get out of my shell. I am still work in progress, but grateful that the timid, fearful little girl I was then, is now a thing of the past. My mother’s reference to a governor’s daughter or wife having a better chance at living a simpler life was an inspiration. I knew I had zero chances of becoming a Governor’s daughter, because my ordinary father’s absence in my life was already loud. However, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope of becoming the governor’s wife or being the governor herself! What a fantasy to hold. It was a sweet, inspirational one. I dared to nurse it.

The desire to grow into the governor’s wife, or better still the governor gave me something to aim for. And oh boy, I dared to dream, not your everyday dreams but big aspirations that defied my circumstances then. I dreamt of a time when I would not go before a school headteacher to plead for another extra day at school in the hope of raising fees amidst hopeless situations. I fantasied of a time when I would know what my next meal would be without hanging onto the hand of fate. I dared to dream.

Even in its seemingly snail-paced movement, time passed. One day I woke up and I had completed college. Then I was working, beginning to experience the problems of the privileged – I too became busy! I have experienced the joy of living and enjoying fully the different seasons of my life, from the first decade to the present one. I look back and I am in awe of how much can happen in a short time, but above all, God’s unchanging nature amidst the changing seasons of our lives.

The closest I had in being in a relationship with someone akin to the governor was a crush I had on a banker in my early twenties. Though the feeling seemed mutual, it led us to nowhere. It was in that season that a young man from a little-known village from one of the hard-to-reach districts of my motherland stole my heart. He was not a governor, nor a son to one, but lived bigger than life. I couldn’t ask for more. He has given me the freedom to ‘eat’ his money when it is available. He knows that life already taught me contentment for the days when there will be nothing. And that has been my life. I have gotten more blessings than my years of life so far on earth. I have seen God open doors for me, that no earthly father could dare knock at. Recently a friend of mine sent me a message that left me deeply humbled, but also intentionally reflecting on my journey.

‘Do you have any challenges or things that bother you in life? I see everything is well on your side.’ He wrote.

‘No one lives a challenge-free life. Yes, I do have challenges, but I focus on the good and positive.’ I replied.

As I step into the next big 40 years of my life, I embark on that journey with even more gusto to live life to the fullest. If you asked me how I made it here, I don’t even need to think through the answer – it is God. I do not know how long or short the next phase of the journey will be, but one thing I am sure of is that I will intentionally strive to make it  worthwhile.  Hopefully, and yes, I dare hope again, maybe the educated farmer that I married will metamorphose into a governor. Then at 80, I will tell the chronicles of being a governor’s wife!