Give a gift of forgiveness during this Christmas season.
By Dickson Tumuramye
Nevertheless, such celebrations can only make sense with your relatives, friends, or neighbors if you are at peace with them. The Bible tells us "do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible" (Romans 12:18). This takes me to the point of forgiveness. Forgiveness only comes when you feel at peace with those who seem to be your enemies or bad people, such as relatives, friends, spouses, or a child, among others. I don’t know who has ever hurt you to the point that you feel you can never forgive such a person.
People in this world like to hold anger or abhorrence against someone for life. It is also common among Christians who confess Christ as Lord and Saviour. But the word of God discourages us from having anger from morning to evening (Ephesians 4:26).
Forgiveness
is one element that our Lord Jesus Christ taught his disciples in the Lord’s
Prayer. He says that we forgive our debtors (Matthew 6:12). It is only when you
forgive that you are also forgiven (Matthew 6:15). Just imagine how God
sacrificially sent his only begotten son, and whoever believes in him should
not perish (John 3:16) and he is reconciled with God.
Forgiveness is a deliberate action or process of releasing someone who has hurt or harmed you, whether they deserve it or not. You don’t keep the feelings of bitterness, resentment, or revenge in your heart. You let go of your rage or hatred for that person, which may lead you to sin. It is never easy to forgive someone who did the very worst thing in your life. It is never easy to let go, forget, and pretend as though nothing ever happened. The scars are hard to heal completely. These steps can help you deal with unforgiveness.
Deliberate decision
You
can make a deliberate decision to forgive someone and not allow your mind to
concentrate on what that person did to you. Whether you feel it is hard or not,
when you decide to forgive, you forgive and move on. You may tell someone that
I have forgiven you, and the person is not at all remorseful. He/she may want
to hurt you more, but as Christ forgave us, you do your part. You will feel so
relieved, the big burden on you will lessen, and you will start a new life.
Forgive yourself
You may be feeling bad that you hurt someone, and you are already guilty, but you don't know how to ask for forgiveness. You are a victim of the offense, and that has troubled you for a long time. Don't wallow in self-guilt and condemnation. There is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ, who no longer walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit (Romans 8:1). Don’t allow the power of sin to control you. Forgive yourself and seek practical ways to live at peace with yourself and the person you offended.
Restore the broken relationship
The
reason we forgive, especially people close to us, is to restore that lost
relationship/friendship. It is to keep you safe. It is a very emotional state
of mind to say, "I let this resentment stop, and I need to bring this
person back to me." Remember the father who forgave his prodigal son after
he sold and squandered all he had recklessly. When the son came back to his
senses and went back to the father, he was completely forgiven and restored as
a son (Luke 15:11–32). Take time to mend the broken hearts within yourselves (you
and your offender, and vice versa).
Seek forgiveness and make a confession
The
mere act of thinking about forgiving someone may cause new emotional distress.
But we know that it brings healing. This may necessitate an act of seeking
forgiveness from your offender. You go on to confess what has been on your
heart and how you have decided now to cleanse yourself of the stain. The Bible
says that "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us
our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). As God
forgives us when we confess our sins, even to our offenders, or if we are the
offenders, confess how it has been painful, but you decided to bring it to an
end. They may never know that you were angry with them to that extent. Only you
were upset. If this happens, you get better and refresh yourself with a new
chapter of life.
Fulfillment of the scriptures
We
forgive not because we want, but sometimes it is a calling for obedience and
fulfillment of the scriptures. That’s why Jesus Christ says, "For if you
forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But
if you don't forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive
your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14). It is not optional for Christians to
forgive but a requirement if we desire to be forgiven by the Father. Therefore,
take action to forgive and receive God’s blessings.
Restores love
Love
prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends
(Proverbs 17:9). Hatred stirs quarrels and strife, but love overlooks insult
and covers all sins (Proverbs 10:12). May we use this Christmas season to
rekindle our love for those who have caused pain in our lives and families.
Don’t repay evil with evil
The
word of God encourages us that "if your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he
is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing, you will heap coals of fire on
his head" (Romans 12:20). Please reduce toxic feelings of bitterness,
stress, and anger this season and boost happiness with forgiveness and create a
positive atmosphere with everyone. Don’t repay evil with evil, conquer it by
doing good, and live in harmony with each other.
The writer is a child advocate, parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder – Men of Purpose mentorship programme.
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Dickson Tumuramye is also a motivational speaker on:
#Positive parenting
#Marriage and family
#Child counseling
#Career guidance
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