What husbands should learn from Joseph, Mary’s husband
By Dickson Tumuramye
The story did not stop there; we see Joseph caring for
his wife during the time of delivery. It is not known what happened during the
third trimester, but we know there was an action during childbirth. Joseph, who
was at the time traveling with his wife to register for the census, improvised
when the baby was to be born. The child was born in a manger because there was
no room for them in the village inn.
When the child was eight days old, he was circumcised,
named Jesus, and taken to the temple for dedication to the Lord. They also
offered sacrifices to the Lord (Luke 2:21–24). We also learn that every year,
Jesus’ parents returned to Jerusalem for the Passover festival with him (Luke
2:41). When Herod wanted to kill Jesus and the other first-born sons, Joseph
escaped with his family to Egypt until King Herod was dead and the Angel told
Joseph to go back to his homeland (Matthew 2:19–21). He eventually settled in
Nazareth with his family.
There are numerous lessons to be learned from Joseph,
particularly in how he responded positively to God's instructions, but also in
his own judgment.
Listening to the voice of God
Joseph was a man who listened to what the angel told
him three times concerning Mary’s pregnancy, escaping to Egypt from Herod, and
also when Herod was dead. He was told it was safe for him to go back to Israel.
He obeyed the voice of the Lord and did as he was instructed. As men, we should
always listen carefully to what God is instructing us to do and do his will.
Acceptance and tolerance of your spouse
Marriage may not be all that we anticipate. It may
start well, but along the way, other issues like conflicts, illnesses,
unemployment, and childlessness, among others, may come up. It can also be an
issue of personality or an external influence that you discover along the way.
This requires us to accept and appreciate our spouses the way they are and to
tolerate certain characters.
Responsibility
Joseph took the responsibility of looking after his
family. He made sure that they were safe from the iron hand of Herod, and he
fled to Egypt. When the child was eight days old, he circumcised him and named
him Jesus, He also took him to the temple for dedication, and every year they
would go to Jerusalem to worship God. Do you ensure that your children attend fellowship
when there is worship? Do you always provide security for your family? Are you
in charge of your family's affairs, or is it your wife and you are just a
"man" in the house?
Love and care
Where there is no love and care, marriage cannot be
sustained. Joseph loved his wife regardless of what people had to say when she
was pregnant. All that he did showed love and care. At the time of giving
birth, he was fully involved and made sure there was a place where the child
could be born. Did you know that we have some men who never escort their wives
to prenatal and antenatal appointments? Do you know that we have husbands who
have left the care of the family to their wives? There are men who think that
since they provide everything for their wives, that is enough. Women need our
complete attention and presence at all times. Even when things are not so well,
let's rekindle our love.
Don’t expose your spouse in public
When Joseph learned that his fiancée was pregnant, he
decided to break the engagement without exposing his wife to the public
(Matthew 1:19). He did not want to disgrace her and opted to handle family
matters privately. This should be the case when we have issues with our wives.
Sometimes, it is not wise to expose her weaknesses to the public. Some issues
should not even get out of the bedroom for children and others to know.
Living a righteous life
Joseph led a righteous life before God (Matthew 1:19).
This is one reason we also need to be like him. As Joshua said, "For me
and my family, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15), it is our mandate
to live righteously with our families and serve God. We need to raise our
children in reverence for God. David also prayed for his son Solomon: "And
give to my son Solomon a perfect heart to keep Your commandments, Your
testimonies, and Your statutes, and to do them all, and to build the temple,
for which I have made provision." We can train our families to serve God,
and we will all live righteously before him.
Live with humility
Joseph’s character portrays humility. He accepted his
wife as she was, and they gave birth to their firstborn, a king, in a manger
with no shame. Most men struggle with the challenge of ego. However, God can
help us to tame it and be as humble as the son of God himself, who never
despised his death on the cross. It was a shame for the King of Kings to be
hanged on a tree (Galatians 3:13, Hebrews 12:2). We can live to imitate Christ,
our Saviour, and his earthly father.
I wish you a Merry Christmas, 2022!
The writer is a child advocate, parenting coach,
marriage counselor, and founder – Men of Porpose mentorship programme
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