Developing planning and prioritization skills among children

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By Dickson Tumuramye

We had birthday celebrations for my wife last week and we organized a surprise party for her. Our 3 children who are 11 years old and below were fully involved in planning and preparing for the day. It was a secret we hid from Mummy. Our children plan and present a list of things they need for such birthdays, and it is always challenging to keep them secret. But this time, I sat them down and told them about the surprise deal. I asked them to keep it to themselves which they did for the whole week. New ideas kept coming in and the way it is going to be done among others.

As a result of the silence on D-day, their mother suggested that we do some shopping after church service so that the day does not feel like an empty one. I agreed with some suggestions and I also tried to avoid some in order not to insinuate anything. When we walked to the supermarket, our children did not order things as they always do. I was also shocked! There I realized that I was winning the battle.

By the time we returned home around 1pm, everything was ready to blow her off. When she entered the house, she was stunned by the shock of her day. She was speechless for a few minutes. To cut the story short, some friends and family members were there to sing for her and the party started.

The main point I want to make here is involving children in planning family activities and the value of confidentiality. It was never easy to plan, and children remain a secret as you know. Our girl can hardly keep secrets but this time around, she controlled her excitement and never revealed anything even when she spent the whole day with her Mummy a day before. I tried to ensure we set a precedent, but it wasn't easy to do. I built trust in them that this time around, we needed something special for Mummy and that depended on their concealment.

I realized that children are quite adept at planning. They bring ideas on board and help you plan a day that corresponds to their expectations. That alone makes the idea impactful. When they are given clear instructions, they will follow them though they may not be 100% accurate, but they can do their best. You can ask them to always keep a list of all the things they think about.

Educate them to think big and start with the end in mind, to set priorities, to consider new ideas, and to share their big dreams even when they may change along the way. Ask them to make research on their ideas and make a feasibility study. They should not be planning because they watched something on television or out of peer pressure but because of passion. They should also make an effort to find out if it is possible and what it takes. With so many plans or requests at hand, you get a chance to ask them to list them so they can highlight the most essential ones.

Let me know how to set a goal and a sequence of actions to reach that goal/dream. Ask them to write down what comes into their minds, have a task plan and they can keep ticking off what is done or achieved. Many children give up fast when they fail. Some can even cry when things don’t work out to their expectations. They therefore need to know that failure is part of learning and it enhances creativity, critical thinking, problem solving, decision making among others.

Give them an opportunity to also plan with you. There are some parents who believe that children have nothing they can bring on board. This may be true depending on the project and the plans but that does not mean that they are not involved. How will they know or think through something they have no clue about? How would you expect results from them when they are unaware of what is happening? I want to remind you that most businesses in Uganda don’t celebrate their 10th anniversary because of poor leadership and lack of mentorship especially from family members. No wonder some businesses can’t survive when the owner dies because family members were never involved at all. Your children love what you do, but what is your sustainability plan after you depart?

It begins with you creating learning opportunities for them and ensuring that their learning is effective and progressive and by providing them with development opportunities. It starts with you, and then you hand it over to them to take charge. Always ask children what their plans are for a week, a month, a quarter, a year, or more, regardless of their age.

The writer is a child advocate, parenting coach, marriage counsellor, founder – Men of Purpose mentorship program.

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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:

#Positive parenting

#Marriage and family

#Child counseling

#Career guidance

 


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