How to inspire self-motivation in your children

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 By Dickson Tumuramye

We have all come from somewhere and everyone longs to get somewhere and become somebody one day. But as you know life has a way of treating us well that some succeed and others give up. Again, the way we were raised or what we have experienced allows us to become self-driven and focused or we wait to be pushed to make our lives better and different.

The same happens to our children. Some have to be pushed to do something. They treat each day as it comes. No plans for the future, no vision, and such people depend on instructions or act the way things are, with no personal drive to get somewhere. They are in their comfort zone.

But some are uncomfortable with the status quo. They don’t need to be told what to do in life. They are focused and always looking for opportunities to do their best and get somewhere. Their eyes are fixed on the future and they keep moving forward. They are not limited by setbacks. They are go-getters. They feel they know what they want, and can achieve remarkable things in life. They know life has challenges, but there could be a way to overcome them. They want to bring more innovative plans on board. They like to rise and shine in all seasons. Such children can’t be bogged down by any distractions like the ones who don’t seem to be interested in anything.

Therefore, you can instill self-motivation in your child. It is a soft skill that comes from within but it can also be nurtured by a parent. Self-motivation is the force that drives you to do, produce, make, develop something, and achieve your goals. It starts with the way you perceive that child daily. Share with your child what you see in them, especially if this skill is lacking. Don't be afraid to let them know how it will affect them if they aren't motivated and self-driven. You may be judged biased or not appreciative, but keep talking affectionately. Over time, this child won’t remain the same.

Encourage them to share their life obstacles with you and inspire them to focus on solutions instead of limitations. Whether they confide in you or not, you should always be an encouragement to them and bring out that hidden potential in them. Don’t also focus on their impediments and concentrate on reminding them about their weaknesses. Each of us is as good as the next person, but we lack motivators who speak life instead of doom. Make sure you are the number one cheerleader in your child's life regularly.

Start early the moment you realize your child struggles in certain areas. Identify those areas of dimness and strategize on how to manage them with a mind of ‘what if this continued like this, how can I help as early as now?’ Ask them to set age-appropriate goals and the time frame within which the tasks must be achieved. One author said that learn how to be your own best ally for reaching your goals.

Discourage procrastination. Many people like to postpone working on certain things even when it is not necessary. Ask yourself whether your child is lazy or pessimistic. Identify his/her distractions and provide guidance. Discover why this child likes to push things ahead even when they are very critical and urgent and teach them how to stop.

Some children become frustrated right away and give up easily. Make sure they are reminded to embrace patience and perseverance, to appreciate their effort rather than only success, and to keep moving forward. It is a matter of time; things will change. Encourage positive self-talk, refocusing, a purpose-driven life, self-appreciation, etc.

They should never fear risks. This inspires them to try something new and test their abilities. They should always be optimistic and have a positive attitude to life. No one can win a battle they have not fought in. Experience is learnt from practices and situations. Encourage them to believe the word of God – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13), if God is on my side who can be against me (Rom. 8:31), with God all is possible (Matthew 19:26) and many more inspiring bible verses.

The writer is a child advocate, parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder – Men of Purpose Mentorship Programme

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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:

#Positive parenting

#Marriage and family

#Child counseling

#Career guidance

 

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