Manage child addictions to gadgets

By Dickson Tumuramye

Parenting in the contemporary world is not easy these days. Our children are constantly exposed to new technology every day. Sometimes as parents, we are not at the same pace as they are. They are so much more tech-savvy than most parents. A one-year-old child also knows how to swipe a touch phone when he/she is not taught by anyone. You see how a toddler struggles to put the phone on his ears fantasizing to speak.

Our children spend more time these days watching screens and using smartphones. The younger ones like cartoons, teens, and youth are more on social media, soaps, and movies. YouTube now makes it unnecessary for you to visit a video library or to have a DVD player. Everything is available on your smartphone or laptop. Again there are many digital television stations that show a lot of movies, cartoons, and music in our homes. Children under your roof are not out of options as to which movie or film to watch. They can choose which kind of computer games to play or what social media platform to use.

That is why control may not be easy in the suitable way a parent prefers. There are parents who are laissez faire and permissive. They don't care what their children watch or the content they are reading/posting on social media. Even when a teen asks for data to watch movies or be on social media, a parent buys without a second thought. They literally never have time to know what a child does with that data.

Through excessive exposure to the internet and apps related to it, children get addicted to these gadgets. Symptoms of addiction can include sleeping disorders, poor eating habits, withdrawal from family members, anxiety, disappearance from family activities such as prayers, meal times, and discussions, less time to play, and limited child-parent/family interaction. Youth often become inefficient at work because they watch movies or are on social media throughout the day. They can also become obsessed with their phones, screens, and other gadgets, and neglect other pertinent tasks.

You need to set clear boundaries with regard to the use of technology and screen time at home and outside the home. Limit the time these children should be on these gadgets and strictly enforce them with consistency. If you change goalposts, they will trick you and your efforts will be outplayed.

The fact that some children are more knowledgeable than their parents in this digital era, you have no choice but to incorporate digital media into your daily activities and parenting practices. Learn how to use some of these gadgets, be on some social platforms to get a sense of what transpires there, and then deal with issues of addiction or overuse with your children from an informed perspective. It is embarrassing to be so tough about something that you don’t know how it functions. They will choose to use a certain language to keep you safe in your ignorance and continue with the vices. Therefore, you need regular involvement in a child’s internet activities.

If you use wireless devices in your home, only allow them to be used in living rooms and not in the privacy of their bedrooms where you may not know what children do and where you have no control. Some children sleep with these gadgets and that’s why even the rate of pornography and other unimaginable things is high because young people do them in privacy.

If you try to sense that there is something fishy, don't ignore it. Seize the bull by its horns and save the situation. It is not easy for young people to accept that there is a problem and that they need help. But do your part of communication consistently reminding them of the dire consequences that may be irreversible. Don’t see your child spending the entire day on his/her phone, having no face-to-face communication with you/family, and you take it for granted. Pay attention to non-verbal communication during the interaction. Nevertheless, your interaction also should be positive, stress-free, and not condemning.

Withdraw or remove the gadgets taking up most of their time or use. If you can’t completely do it like removing the TV set from your sitting room, denying them watching certain programs, and explaining why they are not good for them, it is better to provide alternatives to keep them busy. Provide quality time to them, watch some programs, or movies with your children. Read their social media posts and also comment. Maintain a free relationship with them to get information. Ask them what triggers them to be on the internet or screen time every time. If they recognize that they need help, ask them also to suggest ways they can do away without being on their smartphones, tablets, or screens. They should be part of seeking solutions to overcome addictions.

You can use parental controls to stop certain apps or programs on their gadgets. Use some apps that you can monitor and supervise what they do with their gadgets. Even if you don’t have that app, always check what they do on their gadgets, the messages they share on their social media groups, and the kind of friends they chat with. Some children are cunning and you may never know but try your best as much as you can. Use your IQ, one day you may succeed.

Avoid installing gadgets in your children’s bedroom or leaving them with gadgets that you well know that they are dangerous. How about you? Are you modeling what you are trying to control or they are learning the habits from you? Some prevention measures have to begin. Children see and do like monkeys.

The writer is a child advocate, parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder – Men of Purpose mentorship program.

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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:

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