Mentoring your successor

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By Dickson Tumuramye

 

Mentorship is a core skill that most parents don’t put a lot of effort to inculcate in their children. Most parents work hard to be role models to their children and impart good virtues in them. But the majority lack the skills to mentor their children to become their successors in their areas of interest. Moreover, the ones who seem to be mentored may not get it clear that their parents are intentionally holding their hands to make them better and take over from them at one point.

 

I know that all parents have heirs they leave behind when they pass on. But they may hardly mentor such heirs to know how they will manage their parents’ legacy. Even the children who grow up knowing that they are the next successors don’t do it so seriously ask their parents to intentionally mentor them and guide them in running family affairs when they are put in charge. It is upon children to copy and paste what they admire about their parents. They look at their parents as good role models but this does not necessarily mean mentorship.

 

Mentorship is deliberate training you offer to your children for a given purpose. If you are a business person but you never involve them in your business at all or they just join you because they are told to come and help since their basic needs come from there, they may only stop helping for that given period. Whereas when it is mentorship, a child knows that I am running to be responsible and in charge of this business. No wonder, most family businesses don’t live to survive long beyond 5 years after the parent/owner’s death. Most parents take every effort to build their business and invest in different multimillion ventures. As they depart this like, children start squandering them and within a short time, your legacy as an investor is no more.

 

Talking about mentoring your successor, it would be prudent enough to mentor your prospective heir among your children. I know that every parent knows who will succeed him/her when the right time comes. But a big percentage of parents like to keep it a secret. But even if they were well known to all family members, there are limited efforts to mentor such prospected heirs. I am sure it is not bad to train this child in being a responsible manager of your family affairs. It would be good if you always guide that child with your expectations when you will be no more.

 

Take time and share with them your clear vision and mission of the family. Engage them if possible in everything you are doing so that they will not mess up when they are in charge. Train them in handling family matters, conflict resolution, family business management, taking care of your widow/widower - their mother or father, patience, trust, honesty, accountability, communication skills, how to build strong family relationships and keep it together, and many more. Prepare him/her well for your family inheritance so that when the time comes, s/he will be fully equipped for this noble task and will able to exercise it with the wisdom you instilled in him/her.

 

Guide this successor in how to prioritize family sustainability and ensure that your family wealth will not be squandered by siblings or other shrewd and wicked people including your relatives. Introduce him/her to all your family wealth and property and other investments. Take him/her with you to business engagement meetings. Sit with them to plan for the family and give them responsibilities and demand accountability. You can dare to ask them the plans they would think about when you will be no more. See if his/her plans align with your desired family now and after your departure. Death is a reality so don’t think that asking for such plans brings your grave near you. It is a fact of life and that is why we daily prepare for the future.

 

However, you need to protect your mentee from sibling rivalry or conflicts and control his/her pride. Some may take it for granted and start to brag around or over-exercise their powers. Even such challenges may arise during your mentorship process with that child but ensure you are in control to harmonize the situation. Share your expectations from the start or along the way when you suspect any diversionary tendencies with this mentored heir.

 

Mentorship, family wealth and property management should cut across all your children so that they are all responsible and ready to sustain the little your family has toiled to put in place. Therefore, certain things should not be done exclusively but much of the focus should be on the successor.

 

The writer is a child advocate, parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder – Men of Purpose mentorship program. 

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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:

#Positive parenting

#Marriage and family

#Child counseling

 

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