As we were soon
close to giving birth to our 3rd child,
we began planning which hospital and
on which dates this should happen. Our
agreement was to be checked into the hospital on 23rd April 2015 at Kampala
Hospital and to deliver on 24th April 2015. If it were
possible, we would have wished Deborah and Dickson to share a
birthday since they are all April children but it was not likely.
During that time, I was
coordinating a research programme at Uganda Christian University (UCU) with
8 universities in Uganda and 5 Flemish universities in Belgium. The Belgian partners
had wanted to orient me but the possibility of traveling
to Belgium did not work out. Instead, they opted to do it here in Uganda (at UCU)
because the same person to orient me was coming to
Africa (DRC) and it was easier to make a 2-day
stop over to train me and meet the UCU VC.
Therefore, the date for
her coming to Uganda and specifically, my orientation coincided with our
delivery date. We talked about it with my wife and
agreed to let it happen as the bosses desired which to them was
cheaper. I feared mixing work with family matters even when I felt bad
about it. I did not inform my Belgian bosses, nor even my guest, that we were
expecting and would be hospitalized the same day.
On 24th April, we checked
in to
the theatre at around 7:30 am.
However, I was supposed
to pick up my guest from Colline Hotel Mukono at 9:00 am and we meet the VC at 10:00
am. To cut the story short, I took my wife to the theatre and dragged my feet
to leave for this meeting and training. It was not easy. I remember it took me
about 30 minutes to drive from Kampala Hospital to Mukono.
Thank God for our friend
Johnson Wanyama whom I left in charge of everything. I told him to pace around
theatre corridors on my behalf. I tell you, I did all
I could that day but my heart was in the hospital. It even became
serious when I received the good news that we had a baby girl before the
meeting started. We
believed God for a baby girl.
During the pregnancy,
I called her Maama Debbie. Those who know our story, the first time
Prim sent me a message in her desperate situation that she was again pregnant,
I calmly answered
in a message “That must be a girl, Debbie.” This message did not make
sense to her because she was not ready for another child as it happened so
soon.
Again, we never wanted to
know this
child's sex during our antenatal visits. Our faith in God was that
He should answer our prayers with a baby girl and we waited for
real-time to see this come to pass. Indeed, God did it as we prayed. He
is a faithful God!
Amazingly when I met my
guest at the hotel and told her that I was from the hospital that morning and
left my wife in the theatre, she was so touched. She was concerned that I did
not let her know on time because this could have been rescheduled. It downed
on me why I did not say the truth before. It would have set me free and
I would have been in the hospital with my wife without pressure.
I share this story with us
especially with my fellow men to know when to prioritize
our families above everything. With all the risks associated with
surgery, I prioritized this job over my wife and the baby. I also
later learnt that though my wife accepted this orientation training to go
on, she was not really happy with it but had no option. She
was at a crossroads because both
of us wanted the job, but she also wanted me to be there. She was
very anxious about what she had
been through during our second pregnancy and
did not know what might happen in my absence.
Again, for
all marrieds, it is appropriate
to walk in the light and share your feelings in harmony
and scrutinize all possible solutions to the
challenge at hand. We looked at my situation from one angle – we needed
the job and the guest had already made the programme to travel to DRC and stop
in Uganda first for my sake. I really needed that orientation.
But it could not have been
at
my family's expense. Jobs will come and go, but the family
will always be there for you. You can even lose a job and get another
one, but
when it comes to family matters, no replacement can adequately fill that
gap.
Amidst all that happened
that day, it is now 8 years and we celebrate the birthday of Deborah Tumuramye
Amara, the Prime Minister of the Tumuramye government, a member of the Blessed
Band, a woman of valor, a worship warrior, a very beautiful in and out princess, calm and assertive, very
outgoing, a lady that commands respect from her brothers even when she is the
youngest.
We are nurturing this lady
to be like Deborah in the bible (Judges 4&5); a lady described as the only
female judge
in Israel in the old testament, a prophet, a poet, and a warrior who told
General Barrack that if she leads the Israel army against the Canaanites, it
will be credited to
her (Judges 4:9) and
a woman full of wisdom. Our daughter is already a woman of
influence in our midst and very intelligent. We believe
God that He will use her as an ordinary girl to do extraordinary things for His
kingdom.
Happy Birthday, my dearest
lovely, adorable
daughter Debbie!
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