By Dickson Tumuramye
We have all failed
in life at some point, but we have not been destroyed. We are still alive and moving on. To some, failure came as a
learning experience, and they got over it with more courage and focus.
Other people never believe they can try again, and all their hope was shattered. That is also part of life. Life has never been
straight.Business people know it better. You make a deal today and get excited. It's a parallel road the next day. The loss incurred was greater than expected. Nevertheless, you rise and get on your feet. To them, risk is part of their business life and how they survive. It is all about mastering what you are doing and over time you learn how to deal with each situation as it comes. This is the same with life failures. They will always be there but that does not mean you have reached the end of the road and only death awaits to snatch you.
Failure can be described as a lack of success in reaching a planned goal. It can also be a state of not meeting a desirable or intended objective. Failure leaves a big gap that you feel won’t be easy to fill soon or later. In all, there is always hope and the way you perceive failure determines how you will overcome it. Reflecting on Paul’s words, he says “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we waste away, yet inwardly we are renewed day by day" (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16).
That is what children's life looks like. Sometimes they seem to be outwardly wasting away, feeling wearied out through fear and anxiety yet there is something special God put in them; inner strength. But sometimes we as parents fail to see that and focus on their life failures. We somehow believe this child is not worth a good life.
Each child has all the potential to make it in life and succeed. However, most parents look at their children’s success from an academic performance lens; that is one aspect of career development. Our children are back home for the holidays. Maybe some did not perform to your expectations. Don’t judge them as failures. It is you who have a problem because you don’t want to discover where their true potential lies in their lives. Not everybody was called to be successful through education. Not all people who used to get the first position or got first class at university are very successful now. It is not true that all rich men in this country and globally succeed because of education.
It is you to identify that unique attribute in your child this holiday that you can enhance to ensure your child is destined for the valuable life you desire in him/her. Their talents could be hidden in practical things beyond class theories. They may be proficient at farming, athletics, sports, etc, or hands-on things, but all that is not promoted at their school. It is wise to use this holiday to discuss with your children where their strength lies. Samson and King David were so skilled at killing lions and bears, very experienced warriors but when it came to women, their failure was there with them. But the poor boy Joseph who was a slave overcame sexual temptation when confronted by Potiphar’s wife. Moses’ failure came from anger and he missed reaching the promised land. However, for forty years, he did a great job in the wilderness. Each one of us has his/her weaknesses but we push on with life.
Your child could be a failure just because of your poor attitude towards him/her or your negative words that have enslaved him/her to curses. You may need to release him/her and speak words that bring hope and pride to him. Words have the power to pierce deep into the marrow and destroy your thoughts. There is no situation that is permanent in your child’s life. If the performance has not been stellar in one school, change to another, use coaching and mentorship, buy textbooks, and ensure you teach your child yourself among many other strategies.
Don’t think your child was meant to fail at what he/she does, but fate has it that s/he may not rise again. “For there is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its shoots will not cease” (Job 14:7). Where there is inner strength and hope, they will not cease. This defines your child’s future. Never give up or lose heart. With faith in the Lord, it is all possible. Success will come one day, and failure will never be close.
The writer is a child advocate, parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder – Men of Purpose Mentorship Program
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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:
#Positive parenting
#Marriage and family
#Child counseling
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