By Dickson Tumuramye
The media has been
saturated
with reports of armed men gunning down fellow men and women for different
reasons.
It's
like a demon walking around roaring at whom to devour. You may
hardly finish a week without hearing about killings or
suicide
attempts somewhere. We have wars in our neighborhoods where our relatives and
countrymen are involved. As all these things
happen,
our children watch them in the media.
This experience of such
brutal killings that our children are
exposed to at this time especially the young ones and adolescents
may not leave them the same. Some are
scared, while others assume it is a way of life. The fearful
may develop mental health challenges like nightmares, mental disorders, and
depression among others. If some children's parents died in such mysterious
ways, this may trigger many things in their minds. Talk about bloodshed movies
in almost every television show every day, they know each program
and time of such movies including some cartoons. Their environment looks
unsafe.
The ones who
watch without fear may think it could be a new lifestyle in Uganda. And some may desire
revenge on their “enemies.” I remember when I was a child, I loved
to join the army because I was bullied by big boys.
I was tiny and short and since we had very old or tall classmates or
schoolmates, I suffered their wrath. Therefore, I wanted to become a soldier so
that one day
I could return
and finish their lives. We were a gang of children who made a similar decision.
Right now I am a preacher of the gospel of God after receiving Christ as my
Lord and
Savior which made me realize God's
redemptive grace and the power to forgive.
Such children have grown up
watching domestic violence among their parents,
both physically and emotionally. As it is said that "monkeys
see, monkeys do", these children think buttering your spouse is normal. No
wonder we still have men who mistreat their wives because of their backgrounds.
It is our responsibility as
parents when we watch anything involving violence in
the media to
show our children how it is very dangerous to be part of it. Help them
know what violence is, and how it manifests and affects us; explain
it to them in the simplest way
so each child at their appropriate age can understand it and its
consequences. They need to know that any form of violence violates
one’s right to life, freedom of speech, and expression.
It reduces
self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence. It also brings physical,
emotional, social, and spiritual pain and can lead to mental health challenges
as a result of stress and depression, fear, and anxiety. It can lead to revenge
and death.
Use real-world examples to
help your children understand how violence affects
individuals, families, and communities. Let them know the impact of such
violence and violations of human rights and how they
can be avoided beforehand. Teach them what God's
word says about such things. Colossians 3:9-12 says “But now you
must also rid yourselves of all such
things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy
language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off
your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being
renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” If what we think are small
issues are circumvented in our lives, it makes a big difference, especially in
the way we look at life.
Encourage them to be
compassionate, always embracing
themselves with kindness, humility, gentleness, love, and patience. Bearing with each other and forgiving whatever grievances they may have against
one another.
Let them know the importance
of conflict resolution and teach them such skills. In
life, they should never harbor unresolved conflicts or grievances.
Keeping a heart of resentment affects you
as the victim and not the perpetrator. You also become a slave of
sin before God for any wrongdoing.
As parents, we need to be
good role models for
our families. Do you know that most of us teach children to be like us by the way we handle issues? The words that
come out of your mouth, phone calls or comments you make in their hearing,
tendencies to
witchcraft, and actions taken against your enemies inspire them to be like us
one day. What kind of example
do we set for our family members?
All said and done, every time
you watch any form of violence, whether a child comments or not, please don’t
always keep quiet and think that children are not affected. Talk about it, ask
about their views, and how they can live in a better society.
If possible, try as much as
they can to avoid conflicts and violence.
The writer is a child
advocate, parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder – Men of Purpose Mentorship Programme.
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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:
#Positive parenting
#Marriage and family
#Child counseling
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