Fathers, Let Us Connect with Our Children

By Dickson Tumuramye

As we celebrate and commemorate fathers for the great work they do in our lives. It is one such day that we fathers are also recognized internationally (Father's Day was celebrated on June 16). 

In today's fast-paced world, where fathers often juggle multiple responsibilities, it is easy to become consumed by work and overlook the importance of connecting with our children. As a father, I understand the pressures and demands of providing for our families, but I also recognize the profound impact our presence has on our children's lives.

Beyond the provision of basic needs, our children thrive when they have actively engaged fathers in their lives. Quality time spent together, participating in their daily routines, and being present for important milestones are all critical components of fostering strong father-child relationships.

It is a common observation that tasks perceived as trivial by fathers, yet deemed highly significant by children, often fall under the responsibility of mothers. This phenomenon is particularly noticeable during school visitation days. The attendance of mothers surpasses that of fathers, with some fathers present but preoccupied with newspapers or engrossed in their phones, leaving the children to interact solely with their mothers. A more disheartening scenario unfolds when fathers opt to remain in their vehicles, awaiting the completion of the visit before driving their children back home.

It's essential to acknowledge that our role as fathers extends beyond physical presence; we must also meet our children's social, emotional, and spiritual needs. Each child is unique, with distinct narratives and requirements, and it's our responsibility to cater to those individual needs.

When interacting with our children, offering undivided attention and maintaining direct eye contact is crucial. Avoiding distractions signals to our children that they are valued and respected, strengthening the bond between us. Children possess the ability to discern when they are not being listened to, and they may communicate this to you.

Upon returning home from work, take the time to inquire about your child's day, emotions, and activities. Create a safe space for them to articulate their thoughts and feelings, fostering open communication and trust.

During outings or school visits, prioritize quality time by silencing electronic devices and giving your full attention to your child. Engage in activities they enjoy, and make an effort to understand their preferred methods of affection and communication. Understand your child’s love language and speak the same language which strengthens your bond.

As the primary role model in a child's life, it is imperative to consistently inspire them. Strive to be a figure that they look up to and consider as one of their closest confidants.

Even in times of separation or divorce, it's crucial to remain present in our children's lives and continue to nurture our relationships with them. Abandonment should never be an option. This is your DNA and therefore you ought to take care of them. Mothers who refuse fathers to see their children make a very big mistake. No one can ever have two biological fathers. Allow him to check on his children, take them out, spend a weekend or holiday with them, and meet them when he needs to. Denying them to see their father is equally like denying them food and their rights.

On Mother's Day, women like to be celebrated but Father's Day, it can even go without notice. Moms, instill in your children the importance of recognizing and celebrating their dads. That is how you all make a meaningful socio-emotional impact on them. Take responsibility and nurturing of children together. It shouldn't be left to one party. You are all parents and equally responsible to them.

In the journey of parenthood, responsibility knows no bounds or gender distinctions. It's a shared commitment, a collaborative effort to nurture and guide the next generation. Let's embrace this ethos of co-parenting, where fathers and mothers alike take pride in their roles as caregivers, mentors, and pillars of support. Together, we can create a more compassionate, emotionally enriching environment for our children to thrive.

*The writer is the Executive Director of Hope Regeneration Africa, parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder of Men of Purpose Mentorship Program*

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Dickson Tumuramye is also a passionate speaker on:

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