Will Your Parenting Still Make Sense Twenty Years from Now?
By Dickson Tumuramye
Recently, I heard a woman share an experience that left me thinking deeply about parenting perceptions. She had married into a family from a different culture. In her home, kneeling was compulsory as a sign of respect. However, when she got married, her new family told her not to worry because that was not part of their culture.
Years later, as her daughters grew
older, she began teaching them some of the customs she had learnt while growing
up. Her reason was simple yet profound: “I do not know where my daughters will
get married.” She realised that parenting was no longer about preparing
children only for the family they were born into, but also for the families,
communities and cultures they might one day join.
Her story raises a question every
parent should ask: Will my parenting still make sense twenty years from now?
The world has changed
Many of us are raising children the
way we were raised. While our parents did their best, today's world is
remarkably different. Children who begin primary school together may eventually
study in different countries, work for multinational organisations, start
businesses with people from different backgrounds or marry spouses from
different tribes, cultures or nationalities.
The classroom itself reflects this
reality. Learners from different backgrounds, regions, languages and traditions
share desks, play together and learn from one another. Parents can no longer
assume that their children will spend their entire lives within the boundaries
of one community or one way of doing things.
Teach values before traditions
This does not mean abandoning our
cultures. Our traditions tell the story of who we are and deserve to be
preserved. However, parents should distinguish between values and cultural
expressions.
Respect, honesty, kindness,
humility, responsibility and integrity are universal values. How respect is
expressed may differ from one family or community to another. Children who
understand the value behind a practice will be able to express that value appropriately
wherever they find themselves. Preparing children for the future begins with
giving them principles that travel across cultures.
Raise culturally intelligent
children
One of the greatest gifts parents
can give their children is cultural intelligence. This means teaching them to
appreciate differences without losing their own identity.
Avoid speaking negatively about
other tribes, languages or cultures in the presence of children. Instead,
encourage curiosity. Teach them to ask respectful questions, appreciate
different customs and recognise that every community has something valuable to
contribute.
Children who grow up respecting
diversity become adults who build stronger friendships, healthier marriages and
more productive workplaces.
Schools are preparing children for
tomorrow
Schools are not merely centres for
academic learning. Every day, they prepare children to live and work with
people who think, speak and live differently from themselves.
Teachers therefore have an
important responsibility beyond covering the syllabus. Every group discussion,
sports activity, debate and classroom project teaches learners how to
cooperate, resolve differences and appreciate one another. Parents should
reinforce these lessons at home by modelling respect, fairness and openness.
Future-proof your parenting
Perhaps the greatest mistake
parents can make is preparing children only for the world they know. Instead,
prepare them for the world they cannot yet see.
Teach them to communicate
respectfully, solve problems peacefully, adapt to new environments, remain
confident in their identity, and treat every person with dignity. These
qualities will serve them whether they remain close to home or build lives
elsewhere.
No parent can predict where a son
or daughter will eventually live, whom they will marry, or what opportunities
the future will bring. But every parent can prepare children with character
that remains relevant regardless of time, place, or culture.
As parents and teachers, our
greatest responsibility is not simply to prepare children for the next
examination. It is to prepare them for the next generation. When we raise
children with strong values, open minds and adaptable hearts, our parenting
will still make sense not only twenty years from now, but for generations to
come.
The writer is the Executive
Director of Hope Regeneration Africa, Parenting Coach, Marriage Counsellor, and
Founder of the Men of Purpose Mentorship Programme.
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