Positive Parenting

By Dickson Tumuramye The way we look at children and baptize them “names” matters a lot. A child’s identity should not be based on his/her general weaknesses or inability. A child may be disabled but calling them children with disabilities creates a negative connotation on them. However, calling them children with special needs sounds better and actually triggers someone to respond positively to this child's predicament. Like women don't like to be referred to as big or fat, (they prefer being told “you are eating well”), so also children and adults feel victimized when being called orphans, disabled, obese, among others. Any name that reminds a person of his/her vulnerability affects their esteem and makes uneasy and they develop self-rejection. In life, we sometimes reflect what our minds conceive and we perceive it to be like that. If you keep referring to your child useless, stupid, foolish, a disappointment, words like who will marry you? Look at you! Shamele...

By Dickson Tumuramye Having youngsters in the house who all demand attention, approval, acknowledgement when they have accomplished something is challenging. Sometimes you get fixed in the sibling rivalry and before you know it, you are an arbitrator trying to put things right.  It is sometimes not easy for parents to know that they are promoting siblings’ competition just because you want all of them to be active sometimes at the same time. And some comments like “don’t you see that your brother/sister is better than you?” Why can’t you be like your sister/brother who always does excellent work?” It becomes worse when you utter out negative words like “I doubt if you will make it in life.” “You are just stupid and useless.”  “Look at you; you don’t even deserve to be my child.” Such words are not just piercing like a double-edged sword in the mind of your child, they rather destroy the child’s self-confidence and esteem, create the rivalry more than the one between C...

By Dickson Tumuramye Growing up from the hills of Buhweju district, Uganda, a hard to reach area, as a tiny short child, always bullied by older children in primary school, I thought there was no value in my life. I went through 5 primary schools partly because of school fees and lack of school necessities. There is no single day they chased others from class that I was never among them. And to me, this was a normal routine, but something kept telling me, there is hope, one day you will make it. In my high school life, I don't remember any single term I paid full term school fees. No day you will dream of a bright future when school life was about survival, just hopelessness filling the mind. But today, all that is history. I have finally seen light at the end of the tunnel. Darkness and hopeless life is no longer part of me. I am not alone who could have gone through such kind of life. Though sorrow lasted for nights, the joy of the Lord kept coming every morning...

By Dickson Tumuramye In young marrieds fellowship I lead, I told my members that we are going to share about divorce today. Most members looked at me with disbrief and asked me, “our brother, are you running crazy? How can you talk about divorce when almost all of us haven’t even made 3 years in marriage?” I looked very strange before them, but I boldly assured them, it’s our today’s topic. Listening without choice about this “how can it be” a topic, I started asking them questions (1) what is divorce? (2) how does it come about? (3) who is vulnerable to divorce? (4) how should we distance ourselves from such so that it may never cross our minds or happen in our marriages? I assure you before the middle of the discussion, the reality of the matter started hitting us hard as if some were already contemplating over it. By the time we finished the fellowship, majority repented in ashes. Now I ask you as you read this article; have you ever thought about separating with or divorc...

  By Dickson Tumuramye Having youngsters in the house who all demand attention and acknowledgement when they have accomplished something is challenging. Sometimes you get fixed in the sibling rivalry and before you know it, you are an arbitrator. It is sometimes not easy for parents to know that they are promoting sibling competition just because you want all of them to be active sometimes at the same time. And some comments like “don’t you see that your brother/sister is better than you?” Why can’t you be like your sister/brother who always does excellent work?” are part of you. It becomes worse when you utter negative words like “I doubt if you will make it in life.” Such words are not only piercing like a double-edged sword in the mind of your child, they rather destroy the child’s future dreams, create the rivalry more than the one between Cain and Abel and the relationship between the “favoured” child(ren) and the “worst” one(s) almost in everything in your eyes...