Positive Parenting

By Dickson Tumuramye Some of our children have already started their long holidays and soon others will be joining them for close to two months. It is good for children to also take a break for academic pressure. It helps them to relax their brains and reflect well on their future. Though this may depend on the guidance they have been getting from the parents or your sharings together with the child. However, some think that life fewer moves automatically at this level, from after P.7, I join S.1, then S.6 and finally university, they think less about what the future holds. They wait to see how things unfold. Such children may take no interest in other better life choices in the free time of their vacation. This should be a point of concern to the parent to discover how the child intends to enjoy his/her holiday. For example, ask each child about the plans they have for this holiday. Let it not be just a holiday without any plan in place. Find out about the dream they hav...

By Dickson Tumuramye The month of October has been a wave of graduations in some universities. It's the same month the P.7 and some S.4 candidates have already completed their exams. There is a lot of excitement for some and a month of anxiety to others until they see their results come next year. We are also waiting for the S.6 candidates to also join the rest on vacation. I imagine there could be a family with candidates at all the three levels of completion and had a child who has just graduated from university. I congratulate the parents upon such a milestone. I know it’s not just having such children in school, but real responsibility and commitment to making a difference in children's lives. As each child looks forward to a new level of life and achievement; joining senior one and senior five, starting a long holiday up to August before joining university and the graduate searching for a new job, the guidance of a parent is still undoubtedly great. The...

By Dickson Tumuramye,  As a staff of Uganda Christian University (UCU), I enjoy the comfort of my pay cheque every end of the month. It sounds nice to walk to my bank and I am there chatting with the ATM on how much I need to withdraw. The choice to press which figures falls into my fingers to choose rightly. Sometimes I have walked out of the ATM to the nearest mobile money agent with a full list of who to clear. That is a pain. By the time I reach home, it’s like I am not from the bank or my employer has not yet paid me at all. There are times when I have opened all my pockets and wallet but can’t find any coin even when my list clearly tells me I sent this amount to so and so. Last month my friend opened his mailbox and the first email read “delay of salary” and he immediately screamed “again?!” It is then that I realized I was not alone in this fixation. It seems we are many only that it is hard to tell. Only time will tell when the unexpected happens and we fac...

By Dickson Tumuramye Reflecting on Paul’s word on anger, “And don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesian 4:26-27). This exactly shows that anger is real and it’s such a disease that can control you for life and cause you more trouble. Anger does not only cause stress and unforgiveness but it can greatly result in sin and to the worst separation in marriage, murder, death among others. This is an aspect of life that needs your urgent attention to control as soon as yesterday. We have heard people who have killed their fiancées/spouse for different reasons or committed suicide. Anger can’t be separated from such evil acts. The causes of anger are many and they range from selfish ambition, unforgiveness, lack of self-control, frustration, unresolved conflicts, lack of respect, insubordination, among others.   However, its consequences can be gross if not controlled. Ange...

By Dickson Tumuramye My 4th-year friend (let’s call her Maria) shared with me how she went to visit a friend and met her OB at the same place. This OB was generous enough to invite her to visit him. With all the excitement, Maria approved the invitation, which did not take long to happen. In the middle of their conversation, this good OB demanded sex and tried to rape her. She was only lucky that the girlfriend came at that very time and Maria took off for her life. When Maria shared with some friends, she was able to discover that it was not the first time he either attempted to rape or raped girls. Unfortunately, the girlfriend was always warned about his boyfriend’s character but she always defended him until that day when her eyes witnessed the incidence. There are some campus ladies who have fallen prey to such men. Some will pretend to be your friends and extend their request to be a boyfriend. In the shortest time of your relationship, sex will be number on...

By Dickson Tumuramye When lovers are starting to relate, it is like they cannot live without each other. They cannot take long before calling each other to find out how they are. With an increase in internet use and opportunities of social media, things have even become better as connectivity is easier. The same happens when a couple is just married. All seem to be going on very well as if they are in a garden of roses forever. You can’t expect that one day; this couple would ever face some challenges which may put their communication at a halt. It is normal for every marriage to have misunderstandings and face some challenges. However, the worst comes when these challenges are not handled immediately and properly that they may not grow into unresolved conflicts.   If this happens, it affects the effective communication between the couple and more challenges may arise. Eventually, some find it hard to even communicate; they reduce or cut off phone calls, open comm...

  By Dickson Tumuramye Recently I took my son for P.1 interviews in one of the schools. They were supposed to be done in one hour. After an hour of waiting for the guy to finish and we go back home with results, a teacher came to me only to say "we cannot see your son, he has not started doing his interview."  The expression on the face was a negative one of “this child is unserious, stubborn.” Immediately had the teacher given him a paper to write and moved out than the guy also moved out to play. Sincerely, I also felt somehow disappointed and a bit furious but had to exercise patience. When he went back to do his papers, he came to  me shortly saying he had finished English paper, and he had done almost 3/4s of the Math paper. He told me "I can't finish the whole paper because I don't know some numbers and pages are many yet I am tired and hungry. I have finished Daddy." Luckily enough, he passed very well. Kids of these days are really bo...

By Dickson Tumuramye I recently lost my very good friend. He left a widow and 4 children; 3 boys and one girl. One of the boys has typically become a problem for his mum. She is not only nursing the loss of her husband but also the wicked behavior of her son who is threatening to throw her out of his father’s property. This is something that did not start only after the death of the father. It started way back when the boy was in his secondary school. He got addicted to drug abuse and alcoholism. The parents got to know about all this late.   Before his death, the father had tried rehabilitating this boy and there were promising results. However, after a short period of time, there was always a re-occurrence of the behavior. The mother is now traumatized by what is happening. She worked hard with her husband to see a better future for their children. Unfortunately, the boy is becoming a total nuisance in the community. He dropped out of school; he is not doing any...

By Dickson Tumuramye The season of exams comes with a lot of pressure and anxiety mostly on schools, students and parents. Yet it is a time to assure someone that your hard work has not been in vain. If someone was reading and concentrating on his/her studies, this should be a time to rejoice that he/she has come to a final level of seeing that off. However, most of the time, schools and students are so much on competition and in the end, want to cheat exams. We have been reading in the media that the circuit of examination malpractice is big and involves many people including school owners, headteachers, Teachers, some police people, security guards, some UNEB officials, parents, and learners. All these should be custodians of integrity but instead, are the ones breaking the law; leaking the exams, copying for children, etc. Our children need to learn that there is no sweet without sweat. Nothing good comes on a silver plate without any good effort undertaken. Success ...